I wasn't planning on having such a big gap between blog posts and this wasn't the next one I hoped to write, but I feel it's needed to get me back in to the swing of things. Things have been fairly tough over the past month and as much as I have wanted to get posts written and shared, there just doesn't seem to be the right time, or time at all.
So, this is just an update really before I get to the other posts I've been planning on doing.
Uni is non-stop, or at least it feels that way. I have deadlines coming up and I feel that I'm very behind and not ready for them at all. My health is in no way helping with this at all.
I had a Doctors appointment last month in which I finally poured my heart out about my mental health and the struggles I have. The GP was great, attentive and willing to help me in any way possible. He even sent a referral to CMHT - something he said should have happened a very long time ago - and it should have.
Soon after I received a rejection letter from CMHT which hurt and affected my mental state even more. However, due to the fact I'd hit such a low point I took it in to my own hands to contact CMHT and express how much I felt an appointment was important and beneficial - whilst also explaining that I understood the stress mental health services are currently under. So, I now have an appointment in two weeks. I don't know what will come of it, if anything, but I will keep you updated.
I also had an dermatology appointment last month. This was to check up on my Psoriasis as I had to quit my UVB light therapy as I couldn't make the sessions due to Uni. I had yet ANOTHER new dermatologist - now 3 in the space of 2 years. It seems we really now have got to the point of having to go on medication, however, I was offered such a variety this time instead of just Methotrexate. Before any of this can happen though I still need to wait on my blood and x-ray results and make sure that my liver is better than it was (I had too much inflammation to be able to go on medication previously).
I'm also asking to be checked by rheumatology again as my back has now been out for nearly 2 weeks - this is the worst it's been since I damaged it when I was 16. I've had a few professionals now say that they think it may be linked to inflammation from my Psoriasis - I also get problems with my other joints so need to check for Psoriatic Arthritis again!
All in all - despite the various health problems - I was still being very productive. I was still making sure I went in to Uni and got as much work done as possible, I was finally clearing out so much junk from the flat and even redecorated the spare room, got a new desk and was ready to have it finished so I could sell the car and use the money from that to buy a new day bed. Sadly, because of my back this has all been put on hold.
I will continue to push through the pain and try to keep on top of things. I refuse to let this pain keep me sat doing nothing and falling further and further behind. Chronic pain and mental illness are a complete bitch, but sometimes you need to try and push through as best as you can - if you have the option to do so.
I want to hear from you.
When you're struggling with pain, whether mental, physical, emotional, how do you find the balance to keep up with daily activities? Do you find it completely puts you on hold? Do you have any simply tips and tricks? Let me know in the comments or if you'd rather talking privately then please do not hesitate to contact me.